Jazz Club

Genial, Gimlet'd Gallants,

All Cosmopolitan Confidence,

Wishing Daiquiri Dalliances

And Moonlit Manhattens

Call Sidecars for

Socialite Scandal

Boycott Burns Night

Oh dear, that's not a Haggis! It's the highly secretive Haggis Hound. It's a bit of a misnomer as it's actually part of the rodent family and not a hound at all though. They spend their days roaming the heather uplands of Scotland, looking for food and wisps of wool with which to line their dens. 

This species exhibit an unusual adaptation to their environment. The limbs on one side of their body are longer than on the other. This makes ascending and, indeed, descending the rocky crags in a spiral path easier. It is also thought to be implicated in their declining numbers as mating is only successful if the pair comprises one clockwise hound and one anticlockwise one. It is for this reason, the Highlanders have instigated a breeding program. It's location is a highly guarded secret as some in the Whisky trade consider the Haggis Hound to be a pest due to their competing for the more exotic botanicals used to flavour the best single malts. 

Most Scots would be deeply saddened to see the loss of these wee beasties however, and enjoy the sound of its voice echoing around the glens. It's territorial calls are said to sound like the hissing of the peat fires in traditional stone crofting cottages.