I am about to find myself without a job for the first time in 28 years. A statistic that succeeds in making me feel old all of its own.
The question I face is, "What do I want to do next?". If I loved the work I do now, life would be simple. I would put all my energies into finding a new job in the same field. Of course, with me, nothing is ever that simple. I don't dislike my job. I don't find it too hard or too much effort. No, it's more insidious than that; I am indifferent to it.
It has been years since anything in my life fired me with passion and made me want to go all out to achieve it. I accepted the status quo and assumed this was an age thing. Of course, I ignored all examples disproving this self-delusion.
I have decided that I should seek a change in direction for my own good.
"Which direction?" you say?... I haven't a clue!
Friends are being tremendously supportive. I have a reading list a foot high. I have career counselling booked. I'm not frozen into inaction, but there is a sense that I am still just checking off items on someone else's list of "How to Go About Finding a New Job". I know I need to give myself a damn good talking to. I know I should see this forced review of my life in a positive light. But why can't I? That is the real question.
Aha - a need for focus!
ReplyDeleteWriting in any form is a good tool for helping discover focus, as once something's written it starts taking on it's own form - a blank page creates a dilemma, but once you start it quickly becomes a flood.
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