Friendship

My question today is "when is ending a friendship the right thing to do?".

I am blessed in that I have always had friends I can talk about anything with. A select sub-set of these I can say anything to, confident that they always know it comes from love and companionship. I know I can laugh, cry, sympathise with and argue against with these friends, confident that any misunderstandings will be quickly addressed and put aside. These friends I love with all my heart.

Then there are the fair weather friends. Those that can always be counted on to be around in good times, but have a habit of disappearing during the bad ones. Or those you always have to be a little wary of saying what's really on your mind with. Maybe those that never deliver on their promises. I find these friends acceptable strangely enough. It's an honest situation; I know where I stand with them.

It's what to do about those friends who change over time into something you no longer recognise that I struggle with. Adversity can bring the worst out in all of us. I'm as guilty as the next of snapping at a loved one when I'm in pain and unable to vocalise my misery. Thanks to a special few, I'd like to think that I've improved in this respect over the years, but I know I still do it from time to time.

I'm not talking about the emotional vampires either. They show their true colours soon enough and I have a ruthless streak in me that terminates such relationships pretty quickly, albeit by simply vanishing into the woodwork. No, it's those that seem to metamorphose into a different person. Sometimes this seems to be the result of them becoming involved in a damaging relationship or developing an addiction. Other times, you wonder if the side you are now seeing was always there and you were simply blind to it.

It's natural I think, to try to help at first, to be patient and understanding even when they cut you to the core. At what point do you say enough is enough however? I guess if I were a better, kinder person, I'd keep trying but when trying becomes self-damaging, what then? When the lying becomes entrenched and the hypocrisy level becomes unsupportable?

I want to tell it like it is but I know my words would go unheard.

So, my now former friend, this is goodbye. Two years is long enough. My only regret is that I couldn't be a better friend and stay until you loved yourself again.