The Last Resort
We, the people, believe the time has come for us to impose legislation on our MPS regarding improvement of their attitude to their Parliamentary duties as you have singularly failed to implement effective Self Regulation. To this end, we require the following Development Action Plan, effective immediately.
- Complete cessation of all snidiness, double dealing, back stabbing, self servicing, and toadying activity. This goes twice for lying, cheating or any other obscure Latin expression for being dishonest and will include sins of ommission.
- Immediate and complete focus on doing the damn job we hired you for, namely
a) sorting out a new PM,
b) sorting out an entirely new Opposition party now to be called the Party formerly known as Labour and to be represented by a giant screw, oriented in the upward position
c) Making a bloody decision on Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty one way or the other. This last activity should have a full Cost/Benefit Analysis done for each option with the preferred option clearly identified and all options fully audited by an external body that we, the People, have selected and which you hold no vested interests in.
- Immediate and complete focus on doing the damn job we hired you for, namely
a) sorting out a new PM,
b) sorting out an entirely new Opposition party now to be called the Party formerly known as Labour and to be represented by a giant screw, oriented in the upward position
c) Making a bloody decision on Article 50 of the Lisbon Treaty one way or the other. This last activity should have a full Cost/Benefit Analysis done for each option with the preferred option clearly identified and all options fully audited by an external body that we, the People, have selected and which you hold no vested interests in.
Failure to comply will incur a sliding scale of penalties starting with the recently installed Pillory on Westminster Green for minor infringements such as even thinking about Duck Houses or, indeed any other damn Avian domicile through to permenant and rapid defenestration from the clock tower housing Big Ben. This last measure being entirely decided by a random selection of unelected, faceless, tradesfolk given to irrational prejudices (the DDF),
You have until Friday to make up your minds before we issue a Foreclosure Notice and inform Nicola Sturgeon we would liike her to form a new Government at Hollyrood.
This Last Resort will cut Parliamentary overhead in these Islands by 25% via a reduction in Parliamentary structures from the current 4 to 3.
It will also recover the monies set aside for the repair and refurbishments needed to the Houses of Parliament which have been allowed to fall into a truly shameful state of repair, Any features worth saving will be auctioned off in a car boot sale at Chequers with the exception of the bell known as Big Ben, This item will be relocated to Hollyrood as part of reparations for absconding with the Stone of Scone for so many years. It is destined to be used as a door stop on the one day a year Scotland receives double digit temperatures. Such static activity removing biennial clapper maintenance fees.
Possible further reductions will be reviewed if the Welsh Assembly does not stop moaning about the loss of it's EU Development Grant and, no we're not giving you prime Thames-side land with planning permission, Cornwall.
Fiona Wilson,
pp The People
pp The People
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