Brexit One Britain

Letter dated 26/06/2016

"Dear President Junker,

I apologise for contacting you whilst you're very busy trying to get my government to talk to you (assuming we have one; I think we may have dropped it down the back of the sofa). I felt you could probably do with at least one Britain bothering to answer? For politeness sake?

There's no point trying to strong arm our politicians right now.... no one's in. They have all gone off for a period of meditation and naval gazing as things have got a little too real for their sensitive, self-serving, venal, back-stabbing little hearts,

I know you're a bit miffed with us at the moment, That's okay, but frankly, we're not worth having a coronary over.

Take an early summer holiday. I hear Greece is offering some cheap deals at the moment. Take a few bankers and stock marketeers with you, Ply them with enough Retsina and they won't be able to remember their stock market bank account passwords. That should stabilise the markets quite nicely.

Oh, and it might be a good idea to send copious cases of a good Scotch to the Far East for much the same reason. I think you'll find Nicola Sturgeon would be amenable to giving you a bulk discount. You can find her at Hollyrood's Distillary in Edinburgh.

Kind Regards,

Fiona

PS I really am sorry, I wanted to remain."